COUPLES FAQs

My partner is unwilling to attend couples counseling. Can individual counseling help me improve our relationship?

     Individual counseling can be useful to sort out your own feelings about the relationship and evaluating your options. Sometimes the therapist can be helpful in finding ways to involve your partner even if he/she has been reluctant to enter couples counseling. When problems exist in a relationship, one person doing individual counseling can serve to undermine the relationship rather than strengthen it.

My partner and I both have issues from our family of origin that are affecting our relationship. Should we both be in individual counseling or couples counseling?

     These are issues to address with the therapist. The best outcome would likely result from both of you entering into couples counseling and then developing a plan with the therapist as to how best to proceed. Very often, a combination of individual and couples counseling is the answer to this dilemma.

My partner is verbally and emotionally abusive. I don’t see how things can improve in our relationship until my partner can manage his/her anger better. Is couples’ counseling for us?

     It is easy to see the angry person in the relationship as the problem. However, it generally takes two to do the dance of the relationship. There are many reasons that may account for your partner’s behavior. Don’t’ assume that you are not playing some part in the problem. If some of your partner’s behavior is a product of his/her upbringing, the therapist will likely recommend some individual work to reduce the anger generated from early life experiences in addition to the couples counseling...

My partner had an affair and I have lost all faith and trust. I don’t know if I can ever forgive this transgression, though my partner insists that he/she still loves me and wants our marriage to work. I don’t want to waste time and money when I should really be paying an attorney for a divorce.

     Only you can decide whether you can stay in a relationship after you have discovered that your partner has been cheating on you. However, affairs occur for many different reasons and often have to do with the breakdown of the relationship. By engaging in couples counseling, you will be able to get to the root causes of the affair and develop skills to repair the problems in the relationship.

Between family commitments, two careers, financial stresses and time pressures, our relationship is falling apart. We love each other, but don’t know how we will make time to engage in couples counseling on a regular basis.

     One of the biggest problems in relationships is not making the time to nurture the relationship. Because we get so entrenched in the day to day events, we can feel trapped and unable to figure out how to change what looks like a downward spiral in our most important relationship. Couples counseling which is goal directed and solution oriented is the best way to sort out the issues and right your priorities.

My partner and I came from very different kinds of families. My family was very vocal and never hesitated to express anger. My partner’s family is very distant and non-communicative? Our different styles drive each other crazy. Can couples counseling help us?

     We all learn our style of communication from our family of origin. When couples’ styles conflict, it often means that both people have to learn more productive ways of communicating. Good communication is based on skills that have rules each partner follows. Couples counseling which is solution focused and outcome oriented teaches couples the skills needed to communicate effectively.

To make an inquiry or an appointment, call 215-355-8812.